Potions
Why have mixed feelings when you can have mixed drinks
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HARRY POTTER HISTORY MEME: [2] inventions ➝ The Love Potion.
Love Potions ostensibly cause the drinker to fall in love with the person who gave him or her the potion. However, true love cannot be produced through artificial means, and thus the feelings that Love Potions create are more like obsession than affection. The effect that a Love Potion has will wear off over time. In order to maintain the potion’s effect, the giver must continually administer doses, or else the recipient may “fall out of love” with him or her. A single dose typically lasts up to 24 hours, but the precise duration is dependent on the weight of the drinker, as well as the attractiveness of the giver. Laverne de Montmorency invented a number of different Love Potions in the 1800s. Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes sold a whole “range” of Love Potions in 1996, including Cupid Crystals, Kissing Concoction, Beguiling Bubbles and Twilight Moonbeams, further suggesting that there is more than one kind, possibly each with its own unique effect.
Okay but what if all of the potions edits in Snape’s old textbook were just things he overheard James say in potions class because “no Padfoot you crush the bean! Cutting it doesn’t do anything! Trust me my dad told me”
Ravenclaws probably have, overall as a house, the worst grades in the school tbh.
i feel as though ravenclaws would have driven Hermione Granger up a wall they neVER DO THEIR HOMEWORK??? I though this was the smart house???? and Ravenclaws are like yeah kay but GET THIS DID YOU KNOW AN ANIMAGUS - but potions homework - who even CARES about potions right now I’m researching this COOLER THING uncouple the idea of ‘smart’ with the idea of ‘good at school’
I bet for the professors teaching Ravenclaws is like herding cats away from empty boxes.
Older Ravenclaws have finely honed the art of asking just the right argumentative questions to direct their teacher onto an entire-class-session-long tangent about something entirely irrelevant to the course material.
a harry potter au where potions is taught by gordon ramsay
neville: *messes up his potion*
gordon ramsay: *holds neville between two slices of bread* what are you
neville: an idiot sandwich
no no no!
Imagine that this is Gordon Ramsay a la Masterchef Junior
Neville: *messes up the potion, realizes it, starts crying quietly*
GR: What’s going on?
Neville: *explains how he messed up*
GR: Oh gosh okay…we can fix this, don’t cry, see, it’s fine now? Just be more careful when you’re adding the Newt’s eyes, all right? Drop them in gently. There we go. No more tears.
Neville: *giggles wetly, wiping eyes*
Yes, he only screams when he’s dealing with people that claim to know what they’re doing and clearly dont, when he’s teaching he’s very kind and patient because they’re still learning.
He’d probably do the bread thing to Malfoy.
nononononono. I get that Malfoy is a bit of a twat, but he’s still a kid. It’d be the teachers fucking up that he’d have trouble with.
Ramsay: All you had to do was treat it with a fucking Beozar!
Slughorn: It was a stressfu-
Ramsay: How long have you been teaching potions?!
or
Ramsay: So you’re going to raise this boy SPECIFICALLY so he can die as part of your twisted little scheme?
Dumbledore: It’s for the greater good, professor.
Ramsay: The greater fucking good?! *holds two slices of bread either side of dumbledoor’s face* What are you?
Dumbledore: Am I, per chance, an idiot sandwich?
Ramsay: Yes, you fucking are.
a harry potter au where potions is taught by gordon ramsay
#OH GOSH THAT WOULD BE SO GREAT #the seventh years would be terrified but #imagine first year neville longbottom #messing up a potion and FROZEN in fear #and professor ramsay comes over and says ‘no’'it's alright; you stirred just a little too slow' #'it's a normal mistake' #'we can fix it' #and theN TALKS ABOUT HERBOLOGY TO HELP HIM UNDERSTAND POTIONS AND JUST #GOSH
*cries because these tags*
In Wizard Heaven
- Sirius: You know, it's funny. Your ancestor helped create fundamental healing potions, your father invented a popular hair potion. What the hell did you create?
- James: The saviour of the wizarding world.